Documenting performance

I saw my work really pushing me to tryout and do a mini performance, just to see how i would feel about it, even if it was in a wrong kind of setting. Just by placing myself in that situation where i am vulnerable to the audience, to the public doing my own thing is quite refreshing. New experience. I usually don't like to be visible, but this time my art has driven me to try something like this out. On the picture below you don't see any people around, however its just an unlucky shot. There were quite a lot of people around as right behind me there is an entrance to the university. I sat right in the middle of the space, facing away from the entrance as i felt more relaxed that way. I was nervous i am not going to lie. According to my friends i was there for ten minutes which for me felt like twenty. As i was interested in the mind state that i have previously reached through the repetition of doing something over and over again, i really wanted to test this out in an environment in which i was a bit uncomfortable. I wanted to see if after a while i could be calm again and reach that peaceful mind state. I focused on the cardigan and the threads that were in my hands and therefore really tuned out of what was happening around me. I didn't see peoples faces or reactions and after a while i didn't care. It was only me and the act of unpicking. Everything else didn't exist. 

A couple of days later as a group we caught up with each other and the work we might consider showing. As we were discussing the show we all decided that it is going to be in the dark, as there are a number of projections and work that needs absence of light. For me it meant i needed to adjust my performance to fit this new decision. I decided to use a fine art spare room just to film my performance in the dark. I had a spotlight focusing on my hands and at the same time blocking me out which was nice. The hands and the movement what was important and the spotlight really helped me with that. I filmed myself from different angles using a tripod, however it would be nice to have one video of someone else holding the camera and recording free hand, walking around me like an audience would. I think i want that just because i want to see how will the audience will see me. 

Documentation video 1 -  link

Documentation video 2 - link

My next steps:

1) Ask somebody to help me with a free motion recording of the performance.

2) Film myself unpicking the cardigan while wearing it.

3) The sense of smell is closely linked with memory, can i include in my performance? As i find the smell of the cardigan quite comforting. Can i play with that somehow?

~ Ev