Documenting performance

I saw my work really pushing me to tryout and do a mini performance, just to see how i would feel about it, even if it was in a wrong kind of setting. Just by placing myself in that situation where i am vulnerable to the audience, to the public doing my own thing is quite refreshing. New experience. I usually don't like to be visible, but this time my art has driven me to try something like this out. On the picture below you don't see any people around, however its just an unlucky shot. There were quite a lot of people around as right behind me there is an entrance to the university. I sat right in the middle of the space, facing away from the entrance as i felt more relaxed that way. I was nervous i am not going to lie. According to my friends i was there for ten minutes which for me felt like twenty. As i was interested in the mind state that i have previously reached through the repetition of doing something over and over again, i really wanted to test this out in an environment in which i was a bit uncomfortable. I wanted to see if after a while i could be calm again and reach that peaceful mind state. I focused on the cardigan and the threads that were in my hands and therefore really tuned out of what was happening around me. I didn't see peoples faces or reactions and after a while i didn't care. It was only me and the act of unpicking. Everything else didn't exist. 

A couple of days later as a group we caught up with each other and the work we might consider showing. As we were discussing the show we all decided that it is going to be in the dark, as there are a number of projections and work that needs absence of light. For me it meant i needed to adjust my performance to fit this new decision. I decided to use a fine art spare room just to film my performance in the dark. I had a spotlight focusing on my hands and at the same time blocking me out which was nice. The hands and the movement what was important and the spotlight really helped me with that. I filmed myself from different angles using a tripod, however it would be nice to have one video of someone else holding the camera and recording free hand, walking around me like an audience would. I think i want that just because i want to see how will the audience will see me. 

Documentation video 1 -  link

Documentation video 2 - link

My next steps:

1) Ask somebody to help me with a free motion recording of the performance.

2) Film myself unpicking the cardigan while wearing it.

3) The sense of smell is closely linked with memory, can i include in my performance? As i find the smell of the cardigan quite comforting. Can i play with that somehow?

~ Ev

Marina Abramovic + my own "performance"

Video that really gave me an insight into what Marina Abramovic is about - Marina Abramović on art, performance, time and nothingness

I have heard about Marina before but i didn't really explore her work in detail. I came across her as i was looking at some performance artists because i could see my work slowly moving into a performance. I wanted to explore performance artists and see what they are about and how they see performance as an art form and why they have chosen it. I fell in love with Marina's performances. They are well thought through and yet really simple and powerful. She is part of the performance and shares experiences with the audience. Marina uses her own body as the subject, object, and medium of her work. In one of the performances called "The Artist is Present" visitors were encouraged to sit silently across from the artist for a duration of their choosing, becoming participants in the artwork. So simple and yet so intense. She has spent 8 hours each day of the show sitting still and looking into the eyes of strangers. This is kind of an endurance. Visually you wouldn't notice that if you were an audience as you wouldn't spend so long in the gallery. Her work is challenging physically. I am sure its not easy to stay expressionless whilst looking into peoples eyes all day. She is all about mindfulness and the present moment. Her work is very strong in my opinion and has links to mine. 

Artist is Present, 2010

Through my processes that i choose i try and reach mindfulness, a sense of peace through repetition. At the moment the unpicking of the cardigan is the closest i have to that state. I tried making a video out of it however it does not completely express how i would like to come across. This is why i am looking into performance and the way i can use it to display and show my work. The process of unpicking the cardigan involves me doing it and looking at a video zoomed in on my hands takes me away from it. I am part of the work and this is why i believe performance is the way to go. However, i don't know how i feel about the word "performance", it sounds a bit forced and theatrical to me. I see it more as an experience. A state of mind. Being present in the moment. If my art requires me to be part of it then i will be. But i still don't know how i feel about it because it means that i will be visible to the public. 

I absolutely love the way Marina uses herself in her performances. She is the creator of them and yet is just part of it. The performance itself is big and includes the whole of the audience so she as an artist is just a piece of the big performance. What she does is works with people and the present moment. However if i would perform the unpicking of the cardigan, it would be just my own experience that would be visible. A lot to think about and see what is right for my own work.

~Ev

Projecting

For the Riverside laundry intervention crit we had to experiment in the way we present our work we made so far, or considering to show in the end. I decided to show the mirrored video i have made of me unpicking the cardigan. I think it was the most decent work that i could show and that i saw was getting somewhere. 

I used a projector to project my video on to a white wall. I think it was really beneficial to have this crit and to see your work in a different setting in a more complete way than looking at it on the small screen of your laptop. It felt really good for me to see my video enlarged as this creates juxtaposition with the meticulous unpicking that i did. I think this projection worked as it was methodical and relaxing to watch, which is a good representation of how i feel during my processes. The first time i saw the projection it was mesmerizing to watch. I chose projecting my piece for a reason. I could have chosen a screen to show my work, however there is something appealing about projecting a video that is more transparent and temporary compared to a physical TV screen which is more solid. With projecting at the same time its present and not present.

While discussing and criticizing my work i had several suggestions in terms of how i can improve it. Somebody suggested to use old peoples hands in the video instead of my own. However i feel as though the whole point of unpicking was that i do it myself, like i am interacting with the memories through the threads i unpick. It is very important to me that it goes through me. Letting somebody else to do that will make it less personal to me and i am really into the process and doing it all myself.

~Ev

Filming The Process

I got a cardigan from a charity shop that I really liked, made out of wool, very warm, full of character. Looking at its details I started to unpick it because it looked so complicated. It was interesting to do it and after a while the process became addictive. By unpicking it I started to think about its previous owner, that it was a well looked after cardigan, that the energy and the smell of the previous owner was still present with it. I could still smell traces of sweet female perfume on it. So after some time I thought about the threads that I started to unpick as being memories and traces of the previous owner.

The cardigan is so collected and well made that when you look closer it is very complicated with all the threads tangled up in a certain way. I imagined myself being the cardigan, being all collected on the outside but very tangled up on the inside. Recently I have been feeling that way. So by unpicking the cardigan it wasn't only interacting with the previous owners energy but also a very therapeutic process for me as it helped me to untangle my thoughts through the process of untangling the cardigan. 

This reflection happened when I decided to film myself unpicking the cardigan up close, zooming in only on my hands doing the unpicking. I did this at the top of university building big spacious balcony, where I was by myself. It was just me, sitting on the chair, cardigan, camera on a tripod in front and the sound of the city and the church bells. It was something special, it helped me to relax by being there alone and doing what I love to do - engage in a repetitive process (and somebodies memories).

 

This is the cardigan

 

The threads that I unpicked

 

Some images of my video and if you want to see the video in full clink here
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I felt very peaceful which was a really nice encouragement for me to carry on exploring this unpicking process. The film was a good way to document the process which otherwise people wouldn't have seen. This is the first film I created which I felt like was going somewhere. What the film did really well is focus on what I wanted to focus on - the hands at work, the process, leaving everything around me out, placing importance on the things that I consider important. The memories.

 

 

I decided to play with the video that I have done on Adobe Premiere. Usually I am not into using different software however I wanted to experiment with it this time. Whilst playing around with it I tried mirroring the video horizontally just to see what will happen. I fell in love with it. Although usually its typical to mirror everything, it looked like it worked and belonged. I turned out a bit hypnotizing and strange. To see it click here

 

 

~Ev